Howdy @Jason

Certainly sounds like a tough period in your life for sure. But reading what you wrote, I noticed most of the things you listed, it was things that were comparing yourself to other people. People going to college, or having gf, or careers.

You will never win when you compare to others, there will always be someone who is ‘doing better’ than you. But how do you know that these people aren’t struggling in other aspects of their lives? You look a celebrities, with their glamorous lives, clothes, cars, houses etc. yet many of them are dealing with depression as well! Not to mention, divorces, bankruptcy, fraud or identity theft all sorts. So by comparing yourself to these people, have you also thought about comparing yourself to people who are worse off? Maybe someone who is struggling in hospital waiting for a kidney transplant? In that case, you are definitely super blessed!

Everyone has their own problems, but I believe we are in this life not to compare with others, but to define what success is to ourselves! Some people define success as getting married and having a family, whilst someone else may say, I don’t have a gf or family, but I have a PhD. Who is more successful? It depends on what you define.

I’m definitely no expert on depression, my only experience is having been through it myself, but have never studied it or anything. But I believe:

1) you need to find your own purpose, define your own success.
2) stop comparing yourself to the standard of other people, you don’t know their personal private lives, other people may be looking at you going, wow, I wish I had the courage and the ability to go back to study in my late twenties instead of locked down with a family and job trying to make ends meet
3) you will move on from your girlfriend. Sounds like she made you less self confident. And that is definitely not someone you want to be with.
4) continue to seek the advice from a counsellor/psychiatrist and keep talking to them.
5) you are going through a hard time now, but believe that there is light at the end of the tunnel. This moment in your life might suck, but through its process, you will grow and be a stronger person. You probably can’t see this now, but one day, you will look back and be grateful.

Best,

T