It seems that this looks worse than it is in some ways. He did get over the breakup at least on a conscious level. And he was talking about it at the beginning of our relationship to let me know about his situation. It’s not like he is talking about it all the time. So…basically it sounded all right…but…there is obviously some problem if he cannot get intimate now.

Okay, I think that makes the difference, if he was just going into detail to explain the situation to you, although I do think he has some underlying anxieties or pain that he might not realize he has if it’s affecting his ability to be intimate, so he might still need some counseling or at least some major self-reflection to figure that out.

About the living situation, yes, they decided to stay and live together until kids would both be 18. That’s a long long time. And they probably didn’t think about how this will affect their dating life or possible relationships. It’s like they decided to sacrifice all that for the sake of the kids. Which sounds fine…but…like some of you said I’m sure kids will get to understand something is not right since they sleep in different rooms.

However, they are very mature about everything and decent with each other. They communicate normally and the breakup was handled quite well. So the kids are getting all the love and care from them. That’s probably a good thing.

No matter how mature they’re being right now, I just can’t see this not blowing up in their faces, especially when relationships with other people come into play. Is his ex-wife in a serious relationship, yet?

Also, are the kids supposed to know they’re dating other people or are they going to hide this from them until the kids are 18, and if the kids know, will they be building relationships with the other significant others? It’s just a really weird example to set for the kids, if you think about it.  On one hand, it’s nice that they won’t have to go back and forth between houses and will see their parents being fairly amicable in the same house, but it’s also sort of setting unrealistic expectations for how well people can work together and I will be surprised if the parents will be able to live together so amicably once they both get into serious relationships, because if there’s one thing I’ve learned about stepparents when having to deal with my kids’ dads’ wives, it’s that they like a certain amount of control, too, and you’re not always going to agree with them. It can turn into a mess.

It might be okay to continue to live together for now, but I can see this not working for that long, definitely not for 13 years. And think about that number… because the youngest is 5…. would you want to be with someone who lives with his ex rather than you for 13 years??  And who’s to say they won’t fall back for each other again in those 13 years in such close quarters?