Dear Lily:

You are definitely making progress!

It doesn’t read to me that you overwhelmed your professor, and if he did feel overwhelmed, if he did, it could have been a combination of stress from his whole day, his many students, his family situation and who knows, maybe he is constipated. The latter is not a joke I am making, really, constipation and bloating is a real stressor for a whole lot of people, especially older people. So you may see him distressed and you think it is you, that you are the cause, when most of his distress may be.. constipation.

I figure you saw an expression on the professor’s face or heard something in his voice and jumped to the conclusion you often jump to, that you  did or said something wrong and that thought is always involved with that weird, uncomfortable and very distressing feeling that you experience.

You are being very mindful about all of this, I can tell by your writing. keep being mindful, more mindful by saying to yourself next time, when again you see a person’s facial expression or a tone in one’s voice, or the person turning away from you, or pausing or whatnot, some trigger that causes you to think that the person is distressed, overwhelmed, uncomfortable and it is all your fault..

– stop that train of thought and say to yourself instead: maybe that person is constipated.

And you know that this very possible explanation to a person’s distress is none of your fault, nothing that you caused!

anita