Dear Cali Chica:

I want to attend to just one topic in this post because it is important to clear this up first. Again and again.. and yet again I read how supposedly unselfish your mother was or presented herself as, and how selfish other people are and they are getting away with it.

This is what you wrote in your recent post: “I must act in a way in which I am not those ‘ungrateful selfish people who don’t tend to others, only to my own self- selfish and ungrateful, forgetting where they came from and who was there for them'”-

Well, didn’t your mother never work since married to your father, never brining in a single dollar to the household, and didn’t she use her husband’s money to buy herself expensive clothes and jewelry, decorate her house expensively, travel the world, living the five star lifestyle she loves to  show off to family members in India (who don’t live that lifestyle)?

And didn’t she ungratefully treat that husband poorly, making him her puppet, humiliating him for not satisfying her sexually, topping the cake with an affair with anther man?

1. “those ‘ungrateful .. people”- wasn’t your mother ungrateful to this man who financed her lifestyle?

2. “those ‘.. selfish people who don’t tend to others, only to ..own self’- didn’t your mother tend to herself all through her life since you know her, hasn’t she been extremely and consistently selfish?

3. “those ‘.. selfish and ungrateful, forgetting where they came from and who was there for them'”- wasn’t your mother all those things, didn’t she forget who was there for her, your father… (and you!) – and didn’t she forget where she came from when she showed off her five-star lifestyle to family in India who don’t live that lifestyle?

– and didn’t she get away with all of that???

anita