@kkasxo,

Hey!!! I did! I start in a department store cosmetics counter next week- completely different from anything I’ve done before and I’m sure there will be a lot of raised eyebrows but I’m excited! And it’s not too fear inducing in the sense that it’s only short term.

Also had an interview for a big job in my previous line of work earlier this week and another job interview for a different job tomorrow, so the universe has got to grab me something right?!

Money is definitely tight, I hear ya. And that’s a trigger for my anxiety, bigtime. But I want to be careful not to just fall into work for the sake of paying bills again but not being truly happy or fulfilled with the job.

Also, something weird has shifted a bit- prior to my travel I was searching for jobs not far from home, whereas now I’m a lot more open to travelling elsewhere for work, which is strange for me, but I’ll run with it!

My ex is still on my mind a lot, it’s there. It is what it is. It’s making me feel bad because I’m kinda seeing the new guy but I’m so unavailable I feel like I’m being horrible. I have stressed to him many times that I’m working on myself, don’t want to be in a relationship and that he should never sacrifice his feelings or desires or needs for me or anyone. He keeps saying it’s all good and he’s happy to take things slow and stuff but honestly he’s like a puppy and while I like hanging out with him, I’m so scared I’m gonna hurt him.

But then self aware Shelby is like overthinking everything and I’m wondering am I just sabotaging someone who could actually love me, am I running away from someone who’s actually available, ugh, it’s all ick and I just can’t live with hurting another human. And this guy is pretty sensitive.

Any leads on your job hunt? What will you be doing for Xmas?