Dear Anita,

As a kid, I couldn’t fit in with other kids. I was too bad at sports. Even when I tried to participate in cultural competitions, teachers never selected me saying that I didn’t have it in me to be a good singer or dancer. Kids made fun of me that I wasn’t good at anything except studies. I was also a too cautious kid, not wanting to do anything ‘wrong’ or ‘harmful’. I’m still a scared person. I can’t do many normal things and I’m dependent on my mother and sister because I think I’ ll do them wrong and harm myself. I can’t cook (except Noodles and tea), I have never burned a matchstick and I can’t do a lot of things that even an eleven year old can do.

My classmates, teachers and elders always said openly that my best friend deserved to be topper more than me and I was not as talented. I was always being compared against another person and my achievements were always downplayed. I always had to prove myself.

When I was twelve, we relocated to a completely different state and town. Everything was different and I had a hard time adjusting to my new surroundings. So I watched television all time except when I was at school. Even as a kid, I always had a longing for something else, which manifested as whimsical ideas like digging my school ground for a mythical treasure I imagined when I was eight. Now, at twelve, I began imagining myself as a character in the TV show and started neglecting studies. Though I was still a topper, my enthusiasm and ambition was lost. I was so much into the fictional world. Since then, my enthusiasm for studies never returned. Though I’m not as invested in a fictional world now, still all the time I’m home after office, I either read stories/ novels or watch television. I have lost my drive to do anything. I don’t want to do anything except Netflix or reading novels.