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XYZ

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 16 total)
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  • #324757

    XYZ
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    Thank you very much. Your words are exactly what I needed the most. I’ll follow your suggestions and let you know how I felt.

    #324521

    XYZ
    Participant

    Dear Anita,
    <p style=”text-align: left;”>As a kid, I couldn’t fit in with other kids. I was too bad at sports. Even when I tried to participate in cultural competitions, teachers never selected me saying that I didn’t have it in me to be a good singer or dancer. Kids made fun of me that I wasn’t good at anything except studies. I was also a too cautious kid, not wanting to do anything ‘wrong’ or ‘harmful’. I’m still a scared person. I can’t do many normal things and I’m dependent on my mother and sister because I think I’ ll do them wrong and harm myself. I can’t cook (except Noodles and tea), I have never burned a matchstick and I can’t do a lot of things that even an eleven year old can do.</p>
     

    My classmates, teachers and elders always said openly that my best friend deserved to be topper more than me and I was not as talented. I was always being compared against another person and my achievements were always downplayed. I always had to prove myself.

    When I was twelve, we relocated to a completely different state and town. Everything was different and I had a hard time adjusting to my new surroundings. So I watched television all time except when I was at school. Even as a kid, I always had a longing for something else, which manifested as whimsical ideas like digging my school ground for a mythical treasure I imagined when I was eight. Now, at twelve, I began imagining myself as a character in the TV show and started neglecting studies. Though I was still a topper, my enthusiasm and ambition was lost. I was so much into the fictional world. Since then, my enthusiasm for studies never returned. Though I’m not as invested in a fictional world now, still all the time I’m home after office, I either read stories/ novels or watch television. I have lost my drive to do anything. I don’t want to do anything except Netflix or reading novels.

    #324321

    XYZ
    Participant

    I am confused about this. On a surface level, I know envy is bad and I should stay away from it, but deep down, I feel I would stop working hard if I remove envy from my life. I don’t have self discipline and envy keeps me straying far from my path but envy also makes me less grateful and accepting. I can’t appreciate my life due to envy. I want to be more grateful, accepting but comparison makes me angry and resentful.

    #324191

    XYZ
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    I know comparison is unhealthy but I feel it’s the only thing which can help me survive. Without it, I don’t have any motivation to grow and I become complacent. Without comparison, I don’t have any goals.

    #324129

    XYZ
    Participant

    I’m not even sure that I want to stop this comparison habit because then I fear I won’t work hard and I don’t want to be left behind. I don’t know how a person can be so ambitionless like me. I always blame others, make excuses but I fear I’ll be left behind only because of me. I don’t know how other people are so ambitious, driven and hard working?

    #322945

    XYZ
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    I am aware of the cognitive distortions in my thinking. Life and growth are not always linear, they have a more circular trajectory. I’m trying to work on acceptance and gratitude. I feel like I’m being too hard and judgemental about myself and my life and I can be more accepting.

    #322725

    XYZ
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    I agree that it takes a lot more than talent to survive and thrive. It’s same like the tale of hare and a tortoise. I understand the importance of hard work, though most of the time I tend to procrastinate. It’s not that I never work hard. I work hard for things which ultimately have no impact on my future eg. I’ve worked hard on my website development project, though it doesn’t even matter now. I often feel that IveI run out of steam and my best is behind me and things can only go downhill now.

    #322287

    XYZ
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    Your reply is very helpful. Humility is what I need most in life. I have a tendency to want to attain something very quickly and I haven’t patience and perseverance the importance I should have. The sense of entitlement is a major roadblock in my life and I need to work on it.

    #322201

    XYZ
    Participant

    <p style=”text-align: left;”>Dear GL,</p>
    <p style=”text-align: left;”>I am always distracted by television and books. I become obsessed with fictional characters and stories. It’s not that I have never been productive. Sometimes, I am passionate about my projects. I was passionate about being a good software developer and I thought nothing could stop me because I’ve aced interviews and the related exams. I’ve passed on several good opportunities which could have been very good for my future for its sake. But then in spite of everything, my dream went unfulfilled. Every time I listened to my heart, it backfired. Then I dreamt of becoming a writer but found out I can’t write and I’m uncertain about my future in my current career(which is not writing). I feel unprepared for life.</p>

    #322199

    XYZ
    Participant

    I feel the same. I’ve read to have self compassion, you have to wish well for others but I can’t wish them well while I’m stuck. If I am happy, I can wish other people well. But if I am miserable myself, I can’t have goodwill for others. It’s like a deadlock.

    #322047

    XYZ
    Participant

    Dear GL,

    I have several limited subconscious beliefs which result in self sabotage. My problem is I was always a promising beginner. I was the best student in my school and college but couldn’t utilize my initial successes. I am always prone to getting distracted or just being plain lazy. I have escapist tendency. I try to avoid hard work which is pre requisite for success. I don’t know how my life will turn out. I always had the advantage and yet I am wasting my life.

    #322041

    XYZ
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    All other successful people seem so happy. They are always smiling, cheerful. They are so perfect. They have creative hobbies, they exercise, they study, they grow and all I do is watching TV and reading books. I used to be the best student in my school, then I went through a phase (as a teenager, I wanted to apply my study to real life rather than collecting many degrees). I too want to grow in career but my fear paralyzes me. I’m too scared. The uncertainty of future is unsettling. I was an idealist, but all my ideals are shattered. As a teenager, I let my heart dictate my career choices but it backfired.

    #321887

    XYZ
    Participant

    The culture is a very competitive one. Our worth is judged by society by our salary packages. The person who earns more, is more respected in the society where I live. Sometimes it’s very toxic and all I want is to leave it all and live in a cottage at woods.

    #321881

    XYZ
    Participant

    Thank you Julia. I’ve read The Power of Now and it is a very good book. Thanks for the encouragement. I agree that being envious all the time is too exhausting.

    #321879

    XYZ
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    My childhood was fairly pleasant but yes, I wasn’t warmly accepted by kids of my age. I was more of an outcast. People made fun of me, and I was never part of a group. Also, in Asia, studies is deeply related to prestige and if I lagged behind in studies, people deserted me. The world was very competitive and it took a toll on me.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 16 total)