Anita

As always you are spot on, I did feel a rush and a panic when I was with her. I wanted us to be committed to eachother as soon as possible so that I could have an attachment and feel safe about it. This is a lot to ask of someone you just met a couple months ago.

I hope to slow down in the future, I was conscious of wanting to take things slow with her at first then slipped into my child like emotional mind as we’ve laid here. I really want to reach out to her again but I feel ashamed if I do, I really want someone to tell me that’s a bad idea. I already told her not to contact me. I’m just missing her so much right now, but I feel like even if we did decide to keep seeing eachother I would be incredibly anxious all the time.

Im having trouble being with this longing for connection, it really wants to be taken care of somehow and I’m lost right now on how to get that need met. I’m exhausted