Dear Lealea:

“I  keep wondering when I’m ever going to grow up into this strong woman that doesn’t care what others think. I’m hoping it comes with age”- no, it doesn’t happen with age. I was as “tightly wound” as you and it didn’t change when I got older. All that getting older does is add to the list of worries of what others think of me: they must be thinking I look so old… And they must be thinking I should have done better in my life being as old as I am.. and so forth.

“any suggestions on things I could do to get more confident and say to hell with them?”-

-a bit at a time, “let loose and be me” a little at a time in a social context. Over time build on it, extend the time you let loose and be you.

In therapy, did you talk to your therapist about how and why you had to be wound up as a child, how it was dangerous somewhat to let loose and be you?

anita