@kkasxo,

I know exactly how nervous you must feel and there is nothing I can say which will make you less nervous. Except maybe when my therapist says fear and excitement have the exact same physiological response so instead of repeating over and over how nervous I am, to think of it as excited for a new opportunity! At least you’re trying! Good vibes on their way to you……and don’t worry, I survived my rejection & even trying to see the benefits of not getting that job now!!! (With effort!)

You are SO right! It was nice, it was nice having someone put me first for a change. Planning his days around me, making me feel special! But it wouldn’t have been fair to continue it when I don’t see a future. I definitely miss hanging out with him for sure, but it wouldn’t be fair of me to keep him just as a friend. So I’m giving him space.

This past year has felt like a decade in many ways. I seem to have that thing I may have mentioned before, where my ex and the time we had together this year& the final breakup are all kind of….blurred now! I can’t recall it in HD surround sound like I could before. That complex brain of mine I guess, always protecting!

I wonder what 2020 could bring for us?! I sort of think in my romantic life I’ve survived the worst, so at least if I stay single there is no chance of another horrendous anxiety and pain filled year in that sense, so that’s worth looking forward to I guess!

I’m actually craving a trip to London- it’s like I went travelling, I want to be on the go the whole time now! But I’m flat broke, so it’ll have to be something to look forward to next year!

No plans for my birthday. It’s Tuesday so it’s awkward day for family/friends. Plus I don’t really have any go-to person to celebrate with. That’s the hard part of birthdays I find. Not having that special someone who makes it a special day for you, for one day of the year. I know that nice guy would have planned something nice, but I had to end it. It was only fair.

So right now my sisters and I are in United Nations negotiations trying to find a suitable plan- so basically there is no plan, well….not one I had hoped for. My biggest weakness- not coping well when things don’t work out as I’d hoped or planned!

Im a Sagittarius – Dec 3rd! X