Dear Cali Chica:

Good, I was scared for a moment, saw in my mind’s eye all our work going down the drain. My goodness, I am glad to read that abuse is indeed “Wrong. So wrong”.

I’ll make it short and direct (we can develop it further later):

1. You have to make sure that you no longer abuse anyone. I had to do the same. This integrity is necessary: don’t dish out abuse and do not accept any.

2. People who abuse do so as a result of their suffering. It is very difficult to suffer and no longer abuse. It is often the sufferer’s only relief. A suffer doesn’t want to stop abusing others because it is her relief.

It takes enduring suffering without abusing. This takes something of a strong, decent character.

3. People who  abuse feel justified, as if they earned that right, especially if they did or do good things for the person they abuse. They figure: I did or am doing all these good things for this person, I am entitled to also abuse that person from time to time.

No one is entitled to abuse another, no matter what good they did for another.

Take it from here, whenever you are ready.

anita