I’m speechless. I did not realize this. It almost feels like im replacing his love over my dad’s love. I dont know, but the child in me felt so uneasy to read the truth about the dark side of his parents. I think deep down we still love each other, but maybe due to stress, we act out. But yeah, what they did to me and what I did to my sister is bad. I realized I have some anger towards this older guy. He only texts me when he wants to or calls me when he wants to. When he does, I would drop everything and respond to the messages or calls. But when I text or call him when I want to, he seems unresponsive. Maybe it could be one of the reasons why my anxiety can go wild when I think about it. I have a feeling, maybe I’m just being used and mostly because he does not have much gay friends or anyone that listens to his doubts about his faith and the politics in my country. Though the 6 months was slightly painful of not ihim in my life, I felt at ease at the same time, because I wasn’t feeling the anxiety rush that I had when I was still in contact with him.