Dear Cali Chica:

Okay then, I will begin with the emotional part:

1. It takes a whole lot of work, time and money, to accomplish a permanent move (unlike a visit) across the country.

2. Excluding times of being moved by a spirit of youth and adventure, we feel comfort in what is familiar to us (People, Place, Routine), and we feel anxious when anticipating the loss of what is familiar to us.

3. We humans, like all other animals, are motivated primarily to avoid pain in all its forms (discomfort, anxiety, work that is too difficult, etc.), and to seek pleasure.

— so it would take your familiar, nyc- being very distressing in order to be motivated to move away from it. And/ or it will take what is not familiar, SD- to be viewed as very pleasurable/rewarding in order to be motivated to move there.

As is now,

– husband believes his workplace is not that distressing and may get better.

– you and husband enjoy nyc.

– you and husband enjoy and value his parents and would not like to cause them the discomfort of moving out of their familiarity.

– husband prefers a salaried position which he has in nyc and is uncomfortable otherwise. Although SD offered an increase of two years of salaried position, from the previous one year, two years is not that great of an incentive.

– your employment possibilities in nyc are no less than in SD, maybe more.

All in all, emotional considerations lead me to believe that a move out of nyc is not likely. Says I.

anita