Dear Cali Chica:

Thank you for the concern. I will be more careful than I was years before (walked that loop covered with snow, melted snow, slush and ice (on different days). I have my treadmill now, snowless, iceless, slush-less.

The concern then is that Dr. T may phase out temporarily and then return to a fuller schedule in the practice. Regardless, seems that the decision to stay in nyc was already made, and husband is therefore “‘grieving’ the concept of not moving to CA.. the allure.. the lifestyle”, the appeal of California (is this the reason you chose your screen name, Cali.. because of the last time you considered moving to CA?)

I agree that it’s the best decision to stay where you are. And it is not that you are in the middle of nowhere, you are in… NYC!

The best you can do for yourself and your husband and for your future children is to maximize your calm and minimize your distress, every day, and night, and throughout. And act calm with husband (and future children!), persistently, reliably, dependably calm. Remember he told you some time ago that the greatest stress in his life was not his work but your anxious, up and down, unpredictable behavior?

Act calm with him, practice that kind of self control (when distressed of course it will show, but you can lower those expressions quickly enough, lower your voice, relax your face/ muscles quickly, return to a calmer state, every time). If you do that, over time, sometime in the future, he will be more able to endure outside distress (career changes, relocation) than he is now.

anita