Anita

i am ok, I drove back home today because I have a full day of clients to see tomorrow. I went to the skatepark for a couple hours, and it really helps distract me and keep me present. I’m so grateful for skateboarding, it gives me something to look forward to. My least favorite part is having to leave, Knowing that I’m going home to be alone with my emotional pain again.

i don’t want you to be concerned for me. I will live. I’m just not sure it will ever not feel like a drag. I want so desperately to be held, and seen or heard, but I don’t know how get these things, I try and will continue to try it just hurts running into so much failure in relationships with people and is very discouraging and confusing. It is difficult without good support. I’m glad I have this forum and my therapist, unfortunately that feels like about all the support I really have these days. My roommate won’t pay me any real attention she just wants to fix me, my sister doesn’t understand, my other friends are flaky and generally unavailable, so when I’m sad I’m the only witness, I just wish for someone else to see me so I don’t feel so alone.