@shelbyville @Michelle

I’m new to this forum, I just spent my Christmas in bed by myself because of an anxiety attack from feeling lost. I read the whole 92 pages and wanted to just talk to others who have been in similar situation. I went through a very prolonged break up with my ex of 5 years. His inability to commit or be on the same page as me drained me. I kept going back thinking this is better than being alone, I love him, I’ll get nothing like this ever again, no one else will love me. Before this I was a happy go lucky, independent person and feel this whole relationship has chipped away at me without me even realising and now I’m faced with not knowing who I am without him. It’s been 10 months now since our final break up where I decided unless I wanted to keep spiralling out of control and into depression I had to stop and never contact or be sucked in again no matter what.

I dated and was getting more depressed as all I could do was think about my ex and no one will live up to him even though in reality the ex couldn’t provide me with what I wanted. But then I met this man who was a breath of fresh air and something started to make me feel alive again in me. When we were just hanging it felt great but it’s come to the next step and now Im panicking again, my chest feels tight, I keep pushing him away, he invited me for xmas eve at his and I said no and broke up with him. Then I sit here today wanting him. My mind is going crazy I think about my ex on a pedestal yet he couldn’t give me what I want. I push away a guy who is giving me what i want and i don’t know if its fear of falling for someone else and losing them too or hope i might go back to my ex one day even though my rational side is very much aware my rship with my ex was wrong for me and caused these issues.

I’m confused, I hate I have become this person, its making me sick. I just want to get off . Please can you help  @michelle and let me know how you progressed without the past ruining your future.  @shelbyville I read you had a new guy. How are things? Do you believe you can move on again?