Thanks for the advice.

I’ve been working on my emotions in therapy. I’ve always struggled with them, but I at least would feel something up until 5 years ago when I had my breakdown. Now, I can feel excited, or sad or happy, but a lot of the time I will be in a situation and go “oh, this is a happy moment. I should feel happier, but I just feel content.” I know I’m no longer depressed, my therapist checked, it’s just the social anxiety atm.

Regarding my mother’s abuse, I’ve had all the abuse from a lot of people, the majority was actually emotional and verbal. The physical was when I stepped out of line. [sorry, it’s not just you Anita, I really admire you and love reading your responses, I just feel everyone gets hung up on the physical abuse when I tell them when it was far less often than people think.] I feel like I’ve left the situation, I’ve been working on things with my therapist as well as in my personal life, I should be excited after all this struggle, but I feel dread like until it’s the first day of my training, it runs the risk of being taken away. [since you remember my previous thread, only Work Friend knows, I haven’t told the friend or his girlfriend I work with, or his roommate because I don’t want them knowing, but they’ll find out eventually which scares me because they’ll congratulate me. I’ve told my parents, sister, fiance, and K and B and they’ll all more excited for me than I feel]