Dear Alina:

I am glad your online relationship with Tyson is still good, and I hope that someday soon the two of you will get together, live in the same place and have a relationship in-person.

Your obsession is back: I-love-him/I-do-not/I-love-him/I-do-not…I-love-him/I-love-him/.. I-do-not.

Your question is: “Is there any way I can get rid of these doubts?”

My answer: no, you can’t get rid of these doubts, but you can lessen them.  These doubts are an obsession.

-There are psychiatric drugs prescribed for obsessive thinking,  and they do help lots of people to obsess less within a few weeks of taking them, but their help is not complete and they may stop helping at any time.

-There are forms of psychotherapy that can help lessen obsessive thinking, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), for example. It will take months to lessen obsessive thinking with CBT, and again, the help will not be complete. (Maybe you can find a book and a workbook on CBT in a library or a bookstore, or online, that can help you s bit).

In your recent post you wrote about Tyson (same things that you wrote about him in the previous pages of your thread): “He never did anything to change how I feel towards him.. He’s almost exactly the type of guy I’ve wanted.. has the same goals as me.. puts effort into me, and more”-

– thing is, an obsession, such as yours has nothing to do with who Tyson is. Your obsession starts and stops, then starts again- not because he changed, not because he is no longer compatible with you or good to you and for you- but because it is the nature of an obsession to return. An obsession keeps going and going, then stops for a little while, then it returns, all by itself, nothing to do with Tyson’s behavior.

Post again anytime, and I wish you and Tyson, a Happy New Year.

anita