Dear Gaia:

“as usual, a wave of cringiness and uncomfortableness hit me like it always does whenever I share what happens in myself, out of desperation“-

– better if you share about what happens in yourself before you get desperate, it will keep you from becoming desperate. Do it here, share anytime, little things, anything.

Nothing of what you ever shared here is outside the human experience, none of it is abnormal or weird, including “feeling crazy”, getting “morbid unspeakable thoughts and feelings”, not the feeling that your “face and consciousness split in multiple faces and voices”, and not your imagining yourself in “vivid scenarios.. having a breakdown.. battling some serious mental illness and looking/ behave crazily”.

You are not abnormal, Gaia. Don’t be scared of your own brain’s feelings, thoughts and imaginings, as if your brain is some foreign entity. It is a human brain, like mine, like anyone’s . Stop being scared of it and you will feel better, make friends with it.

“It comes in waves”- this is how brains operate, in waves.

“waiting a bit dreadly the next time my mind and myself crumble in pieces.. crumbling in millions different directions”- like you suggested yesterday, see a doctor for maybe one of those SSRI drugs I mentioned to you, millions and millions of Americans are taking it this very day. I did for many years. It can help a whole lot, for now. But remember: befriend your own brain, don’t fear it, best you can. Don’t fear it and you will feel better.

Post again anytime, today, tomorrow, any day. I want to read from you and I will reply every time.

anita