Hi Guthries,

I think there are a couple lessons in this. The first one is patience. It would be great if you woke up tomorrow and these people suddenly decided to embrace you and accept you into the community, but that’s not going to happen. I find that when person A spreads rumors about person B, those who heard the rumors will stay away from B so as to keep A from turning on them as well. Even when they think B is being mistreated, they won’t reach out to B because they don’t want to be involved, don’t want any anger to be directed at them by A. But over time people change their perspectives.

So be patient. Build a life for yourself without these people. Do things you love doing….gardening, seeing movies, walking your dog? Smile and always be friendly. Practice mindfulness and meditation. Enjoy your new home. Give it time and see what happens.

The second lesson is this: Everyone has conflicts with others so when it happens either try to resolve it or move on, but don’t talk about it with others. These people have turned a community against you by talking about their conflicts. Had they stayed quiet, kept the details between you and them, your reputation wouldn’t be ruined. Unfortunately, I find that most people haven’t yet learned this important lesson, or they’re too weak to practice it.

B