We ended up planning a meeting for the day after Xmas (December 2019). At some point, I started to feel that I wanted to talk with him a bit more often. The conversation went very well the first time I brought it up, but I soon noticed that nothing had really changed. I admit that I was growing frustrated and wanted to get a bit closer to him emotionally. He was a busy guy and had long days at school. I brought up the issue a handful of times over a two month period and this when we began to fight. He would become defensive when I brought it up and would say things like “I have a life” and basically said that things would not work out if it continued to be an issue. I expressed how I did not want to feel bullied into silence on the issue and he seemed to understand.

You seemed to get upset when he could not talk to you more often than you both had been talking for the past 3 years, but that bolded part is very important. It was you who wanted to make the change, but it sounds like he was unable to keep up with it and that that change wasn’t going to work for him because of his busy schedule. When you would bring up this issue to him, what type of tone would you take when you’d tell him?  Concern or criticism? Did he tell you he would talk more often or did he try to explain that he couldn’t because he was too busy for more?

On one hand, yes, I was emotionally reactive. On the other hand, he did dismiss my feelings instead of trying to understand me.

What was it that he said that made you feel that he was dismissive the first time or two that you talked to him about it? What did you need from him to not feel that way?  Would it have been acceptable for him to just tell you he was too busy to add more conversation time or did you need him to talk to you more in order for you to not feel dismissed? I feel like that distinction is important here.

I do think just blocking you was extremely immature. At the very least, he should’ve told you that he wasn’t happy and didn’t think things were going to work before just cutting you off like that. Had he said anything like that to you before he blocked you?