Hi happyme1,

Weddings are notoriously charged events. That is what Ushers are for. In a good ceremony the Ushers will show people to their seats and be the buffer in certain situations. One Usher can be in charge of “handling” the stepmother. He goes over, tells her she looks great, introduces her to new people, leads her away from noxious relatives, etc.

During my wedding ceremony, there was plenty of drama, but none came from me. If my father left in a huff with my stepmother I honestly wouldn’t have noticed or have had time to care. A bride spends all her energy greeting people at the reception or getting her dress on in the backroom of the church.

What I would do is lead her down the aisle AND/OR show up and quietly sit in the back with your wife. Have the father daughter dance at the reception. Pay the minister. Slip the groom some cash for the honeymoon. All the traditional father stuff. Then quietly leave.

Don’t get in a battle with these emotionally charged women. Say to both: “Yes, dear”.

Best,

Inky

• This reply was modified 4 years, 11 months ago by Inky.