Hello LK,

It really sounds as if this situation has blown up because anger was involved.  It must have hurt your friend when you said you wanted to disappear because you had stopped valuing the friendship.  This is rejection.  He then took action which hurt you and then you took further action which hurt him.  As your communication links have been blocked it is difficult for you both to resurrect this friendship.  I don’t know if you have any opportunities to socialize with him in a group setting but I really feel that you need to find a way to apologize for your behaviour.  If this isn’t possible perhaps you could post a card through his door which simply says “Sorry”.  You will then have taken responsibility for the part you played in the argument.  Keep it simple.

The reason that this is weighing on you is because you are giving “the problem” your focus.  If you aim at looking for a solution, you may find yourself becoming lighter again.  It may be that you have to let this friendship go and give more attention to the friends that you do still have.  You could learn from this incident and hold back from messaging people when you are angry.

You might also ask yourself whether it is true that you always make assumptions and whether or not you need to examine your viewpoint on life.  Are his criticisms valid?  Are these areas that you would want to change?

First and foremost, give yourself the care that you so desire by reminding yourself that you are loved and indulge yourself with your favourite treats.

I hope this helps.

Peggy