Dear Sofioula:

“About the 2 Sophies.. they are both strong in different ways. The weak Sophie is strong as in she brings me down and emotionally manipulates me- the strong Sophie is the one ‘guiding’ my hand, shoes voice is changing the course of my actions. For example imagine you are ill and you don’t want to take the medicine you need. Dad is being loud, assertive, that if you don’t drink the meds, you will be in big trouble. Mom is behind being intimidated by dad, though, back in a corner, watching the whole thing, making faces as if, you don’t need to take the meds, or that dad’s overreacting .. This image is actually something that was happening often in my childhood… his (dad’s) way of communicating was too strong. Mom could also be on the same side but her way was too soft. It polarized me and still does to this day”-

– so one Sophie is like her father: powerful in a direct, honest, but hard, intimidating way, and the other Sophie is like her mother: powerful in an indirect and dishonest way, and she is soft.

This father/ mother dynamic has polarized you. What if what will unite you is removing the indirect, dishonest and hard/ intimidating elements and incorporating the direct and honest from your father and combining it with the soft of your mother, creating a Sophie who is Direct, Assertive, Soft, and Honest: DASH.

What do you think?

anita