Dear Janine:

I just re-read your last post to me: “I am curious what you mean about thinking fitting reality. I am not sure how to do that or what it would mean to do it”. I want to answer your question specifically:

If you change your false core beliefs that it was you who rejected your mother, that you are the one who hurt her, and therefore you deserve to be hated, repulsed by and rejected by people, and adopt true core beliefs, that she is the one who rejected you, not because you were worthy of being rejected, but because she was a rejecting person, nothing to do with you- then the following will happen:

1. You will no longer suffer believing that you are trapped in a world that will hate you and reject you forevermore. You will experience calm knowing you were nothing but a good,  loving and lovable child, and that you still are a good,  loving and lovable person.

2. You will no longer accept, tolerate, and try to change people who really are cruel to you: your mother, this ex-boyfriend turned friend, etc.

3. You will be able to evaluate people accurately and to figure out who really is rude and cruel to you and who is decent, and therefore who to get close to and who to keep out of your life.

4. You will be less and less angry at people because you will trust yourself to know who you should keep out of your life (#3), so you will be less ready to fight anyone and everyone, you will be able to relax in the company of selected individuals, and have healthy relationships with some people.

5. No longer very angry, calm and trusting yourself, you will find the motivation to develop your life, career wise, hobbies, friends, and whatnot.

* a note for you: if you want to work with me on your core beliefs, please start a new thread with an appropriate title so that you and I can communicate there. Here on this thread, you can continue to communicate with other members (I  want you to keep your communication with me separate at this  point so to avoid confusion).

anita