Dear RedMap:

You are welcome and thank you for your kind words.

When I first read that he told you that relationships are based on “irrational passions, lies and seduction”, and that he is worried that “honesty, openness and thoughtfulness will never work”, I thought: oh, oh, this means perhaps that he is dishonest, closed, thoughtless, irrational and a liar in the context of an adult romantic relationship.

But in your most recent post you wrote: “He has never shown me any sign of dishonesty, secretive or thoughtfulness. In fact he has shined in his honesty, openness and selflessness”.

I am now re-thinking that his first statements are insightful and true to reality. When we are children, living with your parents, we witness their relationship with each  other, and it often does include dishonesty, secrecy, thoughtlessness, lies and irrational passions. We may witness these things in our parents’ relationships with their relatives and friends, hearing them gossip about them behind their backs, or complaining about the others gossiping about them, etc.

When we are children, living with our parents, we often experience them lying to us! Being dishonest and secret and thoughtless with us. And we experience their irrational passions when they are angry at us, screaming and yelling and whatnot, or when they brag about our achievements, irrationally exaggerating those, etc.

-So yes, he is correct. He doesn’t want to be that way himself. This is very promising, this part about him. I just wish he has what it takes to carry his insight through and improve his mind and life in other ways.

anita