Dear Daniel:

Your mother didn’t see or understand that you were so very miserable until you had “a huge outburst.. went crazy, couldn’t stay in one place for more than a few seconds.. madness took control of my body”.

Only then, “she could not not see the truth this time”.

But what is the truth?

If you manage to answer this question in bold letters, your emotional health will improve a great deal and you will be able to have a healthy, reciprocal love relationship with a woman.

To answer this question, maybe in psychotherapy, you will need courage to see a reality that you don’t want to see because it hurts to see it. Because it is distressful to see it. But once you see it- over time- the distress goes away.

But not seeing it, the distress doesn’t go away.

It is very, very unlikely that you were born to be depressed (depression by the way is what happens to the brain/body after being too anxious for too long, it sort of collapses into exhaustion). Your elevated anxiety and then depression were your responses to what happened in your childhood. Healing is about seeing the truth of your childhood, what actually happened there, and what didn’t happen.

A child raised by his mother in a single parent home loves his mother completely, intensely. He pays attention to her face and her body language and her tone of voice and to what she says very closely, and if she looks or sounds sad or worried, the child will do everything within his power to make his mother happy. He needs her to be happy, so he will do his all to make her happy. But the mother often doesn’t see the child.

anita