Hi Gustavo,

You are getting great advice from Anita. I hope you don’t mind my sharing my thoughts because after reading your latest post I would like to.

I haven’t gone out with another girl because I did wanted to see were this could go, but I still don’t believe it would be something bad if I did because right now we are nothing.

Gustavo, after your honest and transparent letter to her about your feelings, she made it clear to you that she wasn’t interested in a relationship with you. This means you are free to date other girls. So if you’ve been dating other girls, you would have been doing nothing wrong. But you haven’t been dating other girls and she doesn’t believe you and is calling you a liar. Gustavo, this isn’t rational behavior from her. I hope you can see this objectively. This girl is emotionally unstable.

But it hurts me that she believes that I’m actually hiding this and lying to her, that she believes I really haven’t been transparent with her.

Gustavo, she actually does not believe that you are hiding this or lying to her. This is a story she has fabricated. She knows you are an honest, sincere and transparent person. What’s happening is this: She knows you have caught on to the manipulative game that she’s been playing with you, and so to “save face” and protect her ego she is turning it around to make you the one at fault. It’s easier for people to place blame on others than it is to admit their own mistakes. Anger is an easier emotion than guilt and shame. With your calling her out, she felt backed into a corner, so she’s lashing out at you. You’ve done nothing wrong, Gustavo. In fact, you’ve done everything right! If you were my own son I would be so proud of the way you’ve handled yourself with this unstable, irrational, manipulative girl.

Gustavo, you’ve dodged a bullet here. I’m relieved for you that this girl showed you her true colors before you invested any more time into this friendship. Don’t engage one second longer in this fabricated story of hers. Hold your head up high and walk away from this. There’s a girl out there who is just as honest, sincere and transparent as you. You will find her.

B