Dear anita,

true, I delivered the message to her. Just sometimes I get so worried about what another may think, that I forget the actual truth. I thought A might think I am careless or whatever horrible things, when it is simply not the truth. The same thing happened at the dormitory or with K, just here it is on a smaller scale.

You are right I should ask myself such questions to check what is the reality. Only that in such a situation I feel very distressed and it is hard to control my thoughts. Then I call myself all sorts of horrible things and think about hurting myself or hurt myself.

I need to learn to become more mindful to break the circle.

As for today, I drew for the last hours and listened to inspirational music. So I am feeling a lot better now. Drawing is truly where I have the most confidence in myself and I feel more in tune with myself also while listening to music. I am proud that I did not let it ruin my day and moved on from the painful feelings.

Soon I will go to sleep and I hope you have a good day and also do things that will make you feel good.