Dear Nia:

You are welcome. In the last paragraph of my previous post I asked you that after you type a post for me, before you submit it, go over it and see if you can re-write some confusing parts so that they are no longer confusing, so that I understand what you communicate to me.

Regarding your husband, I am glad to tell you that at this point, seems to me that he is a decent, honest man and that you are fortunate to have him as your husband. I think you have nothing to  worry about regarding his work colleague.

The fact that he is not romantic is not specific to you, he is just not a romantic person and he doesn’t want to be someone he is not. He told you that a long time ago and you married him, so it’s fair that he is not  romantic now, just as he was before you married him. And he is not romantic with anyone else either (very good thing!).

He plays his computer game for hours because it relaxes him, and he needs to do that, so let him. As long as he attends work, brings in money, treats you well (although not perfectly, there is no such thing as perfect anyway!)- let him play his game without criticizing him for it.

Regarding telling his work colleague that it will be boring in the office without her, that not alarming to me. There is a touch of flirtation in it, but it is not alarming. I think he is clear within himself that he is not interested in an affair with her. He just likes to break the boredom and monotony of work in the office with a bit of entertaining talk, that’s all.

Better you deal with that emptiness inside you, the emptiness born in childhood, otherwise:  don’t see him as the cause t your emptiness or the solution to it. It is a mistake to think that if only he did this and didn’t do that, or if only he talked to you more intimately and so forth, then your emptiness will be filled.

He didn’t cause your emptiness and it is not within his power to fill it in. Enjoy what you do have with him best you can. Be a good wife to him. And post here anytime about your emptiness instead of letting it spoil his life and his relationship with you.

Does this make sense to you?

anita