I’m feeling so lonely today. All my friends went out and are completely hungover today so can’t come around. Family live down South. Maybe the way I’ve been lately I should have planned something for this weekend. I just want to speak to Jay but he is away for a work conference which makes me sad as if things were in a better place between us maybe I could have tagged a long like I have done before and we enjoyed the evenings together. He is still in contact with me but I miss his presence. I miss his affection. I find myself very anxious but at the same time I’m angry at myself for undoing all the effort I made to get here.. to et go of my ex took a lot of effort and I do feel like I’ve moved on but in some ways I find myself stuck back there with the same thoughts of not being good enough running in my head as that relationship by the end wore me down. I finally after denying my feelings for so long acknowledge there’s someone special in front of me but in my momemts of anxiety and indecision I’ve  gone and ruined it. Even if no one replies I’m just writing this out to make my thoughts more clear. To see how I can motivate myself to not give into anxiety and acknowledge Jay is entitled to set the pace too. I can’t control everything. How can i make this work in the long run between us or get the old Genie in me who wasn’t scared or fearful of the consequences or pain but lived life on the full ready to try anything. How do I take him from friends to lovers again? Some tips ladies? If I can focus on that goal I’ll feel less anxious I reckon.

@shelbyville I don’t mean to hijack your thread you can turf me out  anytime.