Dear noname:

A month is a very short time, too short to make a serious relationship commitment. I am all for a man and a woman getting to know each other gradually, over time, and in different contexts, before making a heavy duty relationship commitment.

Regarding your sister- I recommend that she visits you by herself, that you see her without your mother there, and that you and her agree to not discuss your mother. Talk about other things, not about your mother, and maybe even better, don’t talk about your parents at all. Your inner child doesn’t need another advocate for your mother owning your empathy. Your child needs an advocate for him, for empathy being with him, for a change!

You wrote to me: “I’m so grateful to have such an empathetic person to bounce  things off without judgment”- you are welcome. I want to point out that I am judgmental here: I judge your mother plenty. In the context of you and your mother, I judge you as innocent of all of her (and your sister’s) accusations and complaints, and I judge your mother guilty. If your mother somehow appeared on this thread, I would tell her this myself.

anita