Dear Gaia:

I submitted my last post to you before I read your post before last. “to observe others carefully and pay attention on whether they’re toxic or worth my time,  instead of staying in anxiety mode where I’m detached from the truth.. To be very attentive of my interactions with others, be detachedly objective, in order to accurately point out when I’m truly better off or the other person is safe”-

You asked if I agree with the above. Sure, I agree, it wouldn’t make sense to disagree. The problem though is that once you get anxious, you automatically detach, just like I automatically feel angry when I notice someone looking my way. It is automatic, which means you can decide on doing X but if Y happens automatically, then you are stuck in Y, at least for a while.

I think that to do better in a bigger social situation (you plus 2 or more people), practice first in smaller social situations (you and 1 other person): observe, be attentive of your interactions with that one person, etc. Practice and improve your function in 1-to-1 social situations, and you will do better in bigger social situations.

anita