Dear Gaia:

You have to separate between not being “actively valued or at least acknowledged” and being disrespected.

Let’s say you are in a party standing alone while a group of your peers talk and laugh a short distance from you. This is a situation where you are not actively valued or acknowledged, meaning, the people in the group don’t turn to you and say: Gaia, please join us, we want you here with us, talking and laughing with us, we want to hear your thoughts..

Same situation, there is another person your age standing alone, outside the social group a meter away from you. Someone from the group walks to the other person, (while you are visibly there and can hear what is being said), and says to the other person: will you join us? Saying nothing to you, and the two walk back to the group- this is a situation where you are being disrespected.

I too am looking forward to you telling me how you practice being assertive.

anita