Hey all

I have been thinking of you all as we navigate these unprecedented times. I’m glad to see you check in @genie and @shelbyville and wish we could meet under better circumstances @sammy! You poor thing. Shelby and Genie have given great advice. And yes the people here are incredibly helpful and lovely. I hope you find some comfort in being able to share your struggles here and that things start feeling a little less intense soon.

@shelbyville what strange circumstances to be meeting with your ex eh. It’s no wonder your feelings are all over the place, especially in the scheme of everything else happening. Be kind to yourself; everything happening at the moment IS a lot! A lot is a huge understatement to be honest, given the situation with your family members too. And you are coping really well, even if it feels like you’re not. It’s totally understandable you feel hurt by your interaction and the thought that you are not in the same place as him yet-  for what it’s worth, I have felt the same way with mine. Still don’t think you give yourself enough credit- it’s clear to me that you have learned plenty of lessons and that you have grown a lot. Your advice to Sammy and Genie shows that, as does the way you dealt with the interaction with your ex!  Feeling you on the collective anxiety and lack of control front- it’s exhausting! But sounds like you are putting great strategies in place- again, evidence of growth! Hoping you and your family stay safe and well. They are lucky to have you!

I am ok! bewildered… if I look back on the last few days, I just have to laugh because the amount going on feels surreal. The Prime Minister here escalated things at the start of the week and has placed the country into a complete lockdown for 4 weeks; no going out except for essential services. We are officially on day 2. It was announced that there would be 48 hours for people to get ready, make last minute travel plans etc.

I got a call from my parents on Monday night that my brother decided my sister, who was supposed to move in with him, couldn’t anymore because she worked in a supermarket and his girlfriend was worried about the risk of infection. Long story short I had to take control of the situation and book her a last minute flight home before the borders shut completely, which cost almost $1000. I was extremely taken aback by my brother’s response- while him and I and him and my sister are not close, I actually cannot believe he let his girlfriend talk him into hanging his younger sister out to dry in the midst of a global pandemic. I was so upset about it, for her and my family dynamics. He got word that I booked her a flight and messaged me basically justifying his decision- no appreciation of the fact that he has put our immunocompromised parents at risk now. I just have no time for his selfishness and will not be taking any steps to repair our relationship; any reparations have to come from him. Stark reminder of what ‘love’ can do to people’s brains…. In more positive news she is back and in quarantine in my parents’ house now. Who knows when I will see them but I am so glad she is back!

So there was that… and then the sister of my housemate, who I am isolating with, got tested for Covid and she was over here the other day, and my housemate herself fell ill. So we have had to take extra measures to ensure she can strictly self-isolate while waiting for her sister’s test results. They came back negative at least! Still some residual anxiety though as they are not testing people here who have not been in ‘close contact’ with a confirmed case, so my housemate won’t get tested. Rationally, it does seem like she just had a cold… so hope she continues to get better, and we continue to keep well. There is literally a house across my street with a piece of paper in the window asking people to keep their distance because there is someone in the house with it. Extremely weird times…

On top of that, have been pulled into various pandemic responses for my work – from home obviously. As Shelby says, everything is a lot at the moment!

As for my ex… have been so distracted by everything else it seems like small fry to be honest. We have had a few messages back and forth, the last of which was after the lockdown announcement telling each other to stay safe. I assume she took the opportunity to travel to her parents, but feel there’s no point in asking or checking in with her again really. I have taken the attitude that those who want me in their lives will check in with me during this period of time and will make the effort to do so. As I said to a friend, if people are not able to demonstrate their care for you to the same extent as you are them during the most significant crisis of our time, friend or otherwise, there is no way in hell that you can have a healthy relationship in normal times. While in an alternative reality my ex and I would be in love and lockdown together and I yearn for the fantasy of that somewhat,  I recognise it as just that: an alternative reality. I am just so done with even seeking a response from both her and my flirty acquaintance, I just have no energy for it. I wish them both well, but want to put my energy into connections that are fulfilling and will be strengthened during this time, not connections that cause anxiety. Nothing like a global pandemic to clarify one’s priorities eh.

Anyway, have rambled more than I intended as usual. Thanks for checking in with me! Hoping we all remain safe and well; like Genie said hearing from everyone is really reassuring – so hope you are both ok Michelle and Kkasxo. xx

• This reply was modified 4 years, 8 months ago by Adelaide1.