Dear Alejandra:

First a correction: soon after I submitted my last post to you about you not responding to his cheating violently and illegally, I realized that I was mistaken: when I was typing that post, I forgot about the big fight you had with him, the fight that led to the breakup. – there was some violence, disorderly conduct, and some drunk driving, which are illegal activities.

Regarding your recent post, I don’t think that you “did something kind of bad” texting and talking with him, texting him and talking to him- that is not violent or illegal. And I understand why you texted and talked to him: you are experiencing intense hurt, fear and anger, an emotional storm, so it led you to want him to quiet that storm. But he didn’t, and he couldn’t, even if he wanted badly to quiet your storm.

I have a suggestion regarding the letter: write the first draft of it knowing that you will not be sending it to him. Write it therefore without thinking what he will think about it/how he will react to it. This will make it possible for you to write it with all honesty, expressing yourself genuinely, nothing stopping you or slowing you down.

Say it all in that letter, don’t worry about it being logical or clear, just … let it all  out.

Let me know how it goes and post anytime!

anita