Hey all

Nice to see this thread so active and people supporting each other. Wish there weren’t new people joining going through the pain of heartbreak but you’re in good company! There is such a wealth of great advice in this thread that has helped me through my lowest points. I’ve been reading but too tired to write something; just the general vibe of the world at the moment I guess.

@shelbyville, @michelle, @genie – many thanks for your kind responses about how well I’m doing. I still often don’t feel it so it’s nice to get objective feedback!

@genie, thanks for checking in – I miss you ladies as well! I am generally in good spirits, just settling in to lockdown life I suppose. It’s strange in many ways but not bad. I’m generally keeping occupied and connected  with workmates and friends.  Been thinking about my ex a bit and saw some photos of hers pop up on Instagram tonight which never helps… I tend to get a bit stuck in obsessing over the good memories we had and also daydreaming of what could have been. All fantasy though. I read awhile ago that this is common with people who are codependent; some kind of protective mechanism. Like Shelby said with her ex I know she will not reach out or be thinking of me at all… so I find it uber frustrating when I get into these cycles. But I know from experience frustration doesn’t help, only letting it pass naturally does. I can say with confidence that I don’t wish we were together because I know she ultimately wouldn’t make me happy, but I guess I’m just projecting my loneliness onto past experiences. Only solution is to keep putting energy into building relationships with a range of other people, I guess. Like you say Genie I don’t want heartbreak to close me off – not that it’s a particularly ideal time to meet new people! As for my brother, like Shelby says families are tricky and it’s best just to focus on my sister for now. Had a nice time with her watching Netflix together (by distance) tonight and luckily her and my parents are both still well.

Very glad to hear you were able to talk through your anxieties with Jay. It makes me happy that you feel so loved in such an authentic way – you deserve it, as we all do! Can’t wait til you get to kiss him again! I remember that giddy feeling so well… I can almost feel of just thinking about it. There is not much better!

Don’t feel I have been particularly coherent in this post but going to leave if there for now and rest. Hope you and your families are all well; this is certainly a hard time, heartbreak or not, anxiety or not so take care of yourselves and just take things day by day. I read something today that reassured me that it’s extremely understandable we are all tired given the scale of change in the world and that we are doing great just getting through however we can. Hope you can find some comfort in that idea too. Thanks for your support as always!