Hello to all who are reading,

I too was in a relationship and it ended because i realized basically that we were not moving forward and that in essence the connection was not love but familiarity.  I only came to realize this as i was reading your post CB.  I felt the same as you.  Not understanding how all the things i had done for her how she can just say ok get out we are done.  It happened last week and we were together for 8 years.  I was comfortable in my space with her because it was familiar and i think she was comfortable with my role in her life enough that it made sence for as well.  Now the difference here with me is that my relationship was becoming toxic because i was asking for more which as you have read i was just familiar not the love of her life.  Im not saying you two did not love each other.  I just think there are different levels of love.  After so many years together your level seems on a different level than what his level was and he apparently just wants different right now.  Its hard and it hurts our egos that we aren’t it to these people.  it hurts really badly in fact.  I am having trouble at the moment finding my identity again and trying to socialize since she was main source of socialization.  Also, we were both raising her biological daughter and a foster baby so the noise level and sounds i am around are completely different.  The issue with Covid does not help anything either because we feel lost already and then wow like how do i go through this alone.  I just pray and hope that i find peace with this and that it becomes what it is supposed to be.  hope it gets better.