Genie,

I appreciate the intention. I thank you for your contributions over the months. In response, I don’t see it as you in any way trying to hurt me and looking at it through the periscope of kindness, I can see you want me to be happy. So thank you.

I don’t have an issue with constructive criticism. Much of what is given to me as constructive criticism throughout my life is nothing new to me whatsoever, so I don’t feel defensive about it, but I know I take some on board and some I don’t. For whatever reasons. I’m sorry if you felt ignored. Sometimes I just didn’t have the energy or capacity to analyse every post and respond individually to every single contribution. We are all unique individuals and exist in this world today having gone through individual and unique life experiences, though some experiences may resonate with other people, we are all conditioned uniquely and have different feelings, emotions and souls. I have a great difficulty with the words ‘should’ and ‘wrong’. A million times a year I can feel like someone else or myself  ‘should’ do this or that or what they/I did was ‘wrong’, but those words hold too much judgement for me, and I feel in my own self that on this earth no one single person has a right to judge anyone else. It’s just my philosophy, I just don’t want anyone, ever, to feel judged by me, so I try to steer clear of placing emphasis on those types of descriptions.

I feel I have taken on board some sage advice from this thread. I will not claim to have taken it all on board, but there have certainly been actions I have taken and am proud of myself for doing so. I’m human, I’m learning and I suspect as time goes on I will learn a lot more. Michelle’s contributions have always been welcome and just because I might have felt they were direct from time to time, didn’t mean I listened to them any less or appreciated them any less. There is so much common sense in what she says. In life, we take on board much advice from people around us, we don’t often take it all and I’m not someone who relies wholly on other people’s advice, I listen, process and store it as needs be.

I know exactly the writing on the wall regarding my ex. The advice that has been given to me is not something new to me. But sometimes in life, it’s just nice to vent and rant on an anonymous online forum where you can let out whatever crap goes on in your mind and feel comfort that some of your messiness resonates with someone else and you feel a little less alien and a little more normal. Some people you resonate with, others you don’t, but I’ve always tried to be supportive when I can. I don’t mind staying on here for years to come facing hard truths from contributors, I like considered experienced advice, even if it’s hard hitting at times, it’s the only way to grow sometimes. However, this forum doesn’t bring me the same feeling it once did. Lately I have just felt not as happy logging in as I was in the past….well not happy in the past….but you know what I mean I hope….. it’s just causing me a little more upset/anxiety than I’m up for right now. Could be the extraordinary circumstances we’re in for sure, i definitely know anxiety levels for everyone are increased. i’m not logging off to avoid hard advice, on the contrary, I will definitely consider the hard advice I’ve been given and indeed stopping with the current therapist is definitely worth thinking about and doing. Thank you all for your contributions, I sincerely mean it when I say they were appreciated. I have very much considered and kept some gems of advice, in case you believe I haven’t, I truly have.

@michelle, I’m truly sorry if you felt I lacked sensitivity towards your circumstances. Hand on heart, that was not intentional. I suspect from the little I know of your online presence that you certainly don’t seek out sympathy or in fact want any circumstances to become the focal point of your life. You know yourself best and make measured and experienced decisions so thank you for all you have contributed over this thread. You have had more impact that you may realise. I do wish you the very best going forward and keep on travelling! A life well lived indeed.

@kkasxo….my first Tiny Buddha friend! Honestly, I feel you got me more than most. Though vastly different circumstances in some respects, you always made me feel less alone. I do hope this is not the end of our communication forever. You are a special lady. Thank you.

All – thanks so much for your contributions. Perhaps you might like to start a new thread now to continue the amazing support you can get from the Tiny Buddha community. There are some amazing people on here. Stay safe all, let’s hope 2020 finishes better than it started and we all become stronger than ever. x