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Hi Peter. Thank you for your reply. I am inspired by some of your claims, and I think these inspirations will have a butterfly effect in my life. I do need to learn to trust myself, and stop trying to push anything to the extreme.
I do have a disagreement though. Correct me if this is a straw man fallacy, but I think you implies that a healthy relationship should not pose any restriction on the other party. I do not agree with this Pareto efficiency argument.
Everyone has some predisposed belief that cannot be changed without great cost. It is practically impossible to find a pair of lovers who have exactly the same belief. So there must be times that they face conflict of belief and conflict of interest.
Because communication and empathy does not give perfect information about how one’s counterpart feels, people are acting more of less based on their own judgment and interest. As a result of this inevitable self-interest and conflict of interest, there will be circumstances where one’s motivation and behavior will cause harm to the other. Given the existence of such circumstances, total freedom should not be allowed, because it will necessarily implies the exploitation of the weak.
But still thank you for your reply, Peter. It is a very big issue for my life, and I really appreciate your comment.