Dear Alejandra:

You are welcome. This is a super emotional day for you, but you will have better days. Tomorrow will probably be a better day for you. My comments on what you posted today:

“The whole sex with no emotional attachment is something really hard to understand… I definitely feel it would make all this loss and heartbreak not feel so heavy”- I will try to explain it to you best I understand: for lots of men, sex is similar to what chocolate is for me: I love eating a rich, moist chocolate cake, with delicious frosting and nuts on top. After I finish a cake, I am satisfied for a while, but after some time, if I come across a cake, maybe I am offered one in a party, I will want that cake. It may be as delicious as the cake before, or less, but it will be good enough, because I love chocolate cake!

That’s all sex is for most men.

“I just wanted you to love me and let me love you with honesty and respect”- that’s beautiful, and indeed, love is not valuable or admirable if honesty and respect is not there.

“You kept giving me reasons to bring stuff up.. like deleting conversations, talking to other girls on your phone, lying about adding girls on snapchat again. How did you expect me to be willing to trust you”- you mean, he did those things after you caught him with that woman Feb? My goodness, he was simply untrustworthy! How can you trust someone who is not untrustworthy?!

About trust, of all the intangible things in life, I think that trust is the most important. It is the most valuable thing among people, and when there is trust between two people, and one breaks the other’s trust, it is devastating. I think that this is the nature of your devastation- the breaking of trust.

anita