Hey both.

@Adelaide. Really good to hear from you again, glad you’ve joined this thread. I know exactly what you mean by the ‘off’ comment. I think a lot of people are actually enjoying the lock-down – which isn’t quite the right word either but I think you guys will get what I mean.  People worry about global events but they don’t really mean that much until they impact you on a personal level. For a lot of people I know it’s meant more free time, less commuting stress and a realisation it’s a way better balanced lifestyle. So even though they want it to happen, they are likewise a little concerned about going back to ‘normal’, as/when that might be. Since we already have a pretty alternative lifestyle to most, it’s also a bit of an odd feeling to not be struggling too much with the lockdown when others are. So I absolutely get you on that one.

An iso-date huh?!? I wonder how many new words will exist from this crisis by the end of the year?! Made me smile though, I love it.  It’s a tricky balance – part of the fun of the initial meeting of someone where you get that spark is to imagine where it may or may not go and there’s no harm in indulging in a few happy fantasies. I think you know yourself pretty well to know when they become unhelpful for you though and when you are putting too much onto it too early. Stay focused on getting to know her and enjoy the positive energy – I do think it’s awesomely brave of you and it’s a wonderful story of how nothing good happens without a bit of risk. You know you are strong enough to handle it.

@Genie. I didn’t think you were a bitch at all, all very respectful. Likewise I hope both Kkaxso and Shelby do eventually figure out that if they want things to change for them, it is up to them and there’s a lot of support for them if/when needed.  It’s hard when you see people you’ve gotten to know pretty well get stuck. It will be good for them to have their own space back and provide each other with the style of sympathy and encouragement they want from this forum. Hopefully at some point they will get there.

It sounds like you are likewise enjoying the buzz of those early days with Jay, awesome to hear 🙂   If I understood correctly though, you’re nervous of establishing anything routine/expected in the way you guys are communicating?  I’m thinking because if it then doesn’t happen, that’s when you panic it’s “going wrong/he’s no longer interested”. Did I get that right? Jay’s clearly stuck through a lot with you so you know what I’m going to say here – this isn’t about him but you and that damn self-esteem we all struggle with at times… So my take, I think by avoiding establishing anything too committed, you’re protecting yourself from a possibility of hurt and a little like Adelaide, it’s a learning game to get the balance right of how much risk to take and when.  I don’t think he will think you are playing games as you’ve been pretty honest with each other but I do think he may get confused by the potential mixed signals.  So keep being as honest as you can about how much you are enjoying your communications, looking forwards to seeing him etc – which I’m sure you are doing 😉  At some point the lockdown will be lifted and this would be a good time to work through how you would like that to look with Jay, what are you going to be comfortable with in terms of regular dating. When you feel the panic rising at the thought of getting close to someone again who can potentially hurt you, take a big breathe and try to remember all the reasons, the ‘evidence’ if you like, of why this is a good thing, something to enjoy – worth the risk. And remember that you have survived far worse and can do so again if you have to. That strong Genie you remember is still in there, she’s just cautiously poking her head out and remembering life can be good. Do your best to encourage her 🙂

Hope you both still ate too much chocolate and enjoyed the slightly odd Easter. Take care, ‘speak’ soon.