Dear Javairia:

I am glad you feel very comfortable with going on back and forth, and I too am willing to invest time into this, all the time that it takes. There is no rushing in this kind of work. Eventually, we’ll put it all together.

Regarding #3: “Giving time and space time in all sorts of relationships”- you described your mother, when she “had a lot  of anxiety and she wouldn’t stop talking every five minutes. She expected someone to respond to her and have a company 24/7 by her side. So she used me for that purpose.. the topics were overwhelmingly serious for a child.. she mentioned suicide a lot to me from time to time. I had almost no space to myself”- this is amazing, everything in this quote describes my experience with my mother. Therefore I can definitely say: I understand.

You wrote that you admire people who, unlike your mother (and mine),  “understand taking and giving space” (and thank you for considering me one of these people).

1. Do you consider yourself one of these people?

Regarding #4, “Staying loyal and truthful in all sorts of relationships”-

2. Were you loyal to your mother, staying loyal to her all through your childhood when you availed yourself to her 24/7, hearing her anxious and suicidal talk?

anita