Dear Lisa:

You are very welcome and thank you for your appreciation, you are kind and I appreciate you.

“I don’t want to hurt him”- you are a good person for not wanting to hurt him.

“I feel like me and him will be great. But.. I panic”- if you learn to calm down when you start panicking- that will be wonderful, the solution of the problem (the problem being the panicking itself).

“when I go on social media.. people just say that I’m just a bad person”- why don’t you stop sharing with anyone and everyone. Be selective with whom you share your personal life. Not everyone deserves to know and express their opinion- you decide who to trust with your personal information, and who has the privilege to give you their opinion.

It will not be a bad thing if you do give it to him, for his birthday, given how strongly you feel about him. It will be an expression of your feelings for him.

“why do you have this approach and not just tell me to leave him”? Because you expressed that he is a decent person who truly loves you, and because most recently you shared that he is okay with you.

Back to the panicking- if only you learn to calm yourself when you start to panic- that will be best. This is why I suggested the exercise, guided meditations, etc., in my first post to you!

anita