Dear Anita.

I went and saw him last night. I thought this was going to be the rekendle of our relationship. I brought two blankets so we could lay on the grass and look at the stars together. But he had different plans.

A few hours before he told me through text that since I did what I did he’s been trying to forget. But he felt so mad and confused as to why I was having second thoughts this far in.

In the car he told me it was over for now. I gave him the braceletes and we promised to Keep in contact through them. We kissed and hugged and kissed some more. And I felt everything rushing back. I wanted to be with him again. But i wasn’t going to beg.

He told me at this point it wasn’t about how I felt. It was about how he felt. He says he knows he stoll loves me but for a long time he doesn’t want to be with me. My heart broke.

As I was getting out of the car I told him I don’t want to leave. And he told me “a part of me doesn’t want you to leave” and I told him that that’s the problem, that another part of him does want me to leave.. and he nodded his head. So I opened the door.. kissed him one last time. And I slowly walked away backwards. It felt like something from a movie. It looked like he wanted to tell me to come back but he knew he couldn’t.

When we got home we set up the braceletes and started using them. Then I got a message.. he told me that he couldn’t use them. And, he was right.. it was a strain on me too. Their meant for people in relationships. Not ex’s. I told him that I feel at peace in this ending. Like our relationship had ran itd proper course.

Imagining my life without him hurts so bad Anita. But i know that it takes 30 days to stop a habit. So I’m gonna try and stop the habit of thinking of him or texting him. And reslly let it be a Break up. I love him still but I guess this was written in the stars. I’m happy now that we’re mutual on the feelings and realized Maybe it wasn’t meant to be but we’ll always love each Other.

Anyways now it’s about picking myself up. And carrying on. I’ll be okay but for right now. This hurts.

Lisa.