Dear Anita…

Thank you for your last post it just gave me some relaxation by knowing i m not a villain lr a bad person by breaking up with him nd falling out of love because of lack of emotional connection nd communication..

But somehow his efforts nowadays are making me feel bad.. As i told him honestly everything that how i feel in ths relationship he is scared now. He is trying to call me nd text me multiple times.. Trying to ask me about what i like, my friends now… Etc…

I know this person frm last 8 years nd after 3 months of relationship now he is trying to communicate to me… Trying to make me laugh or telling me his sad story that he laughs all the time but its only showing off… He is not happy inside…

But the strange thing is he was showing the same “showing off”  i mean laughing nd joking all the time infront of me too…. I never saw  real  him… Nd he never realised ths either.. I dont knw wether these are truth or lie or exaggerated or he is only making me to feel sympathy for him nd stay…

Talking to him nd watching him to making effort now makes me sad too.. Because i start yo feel he loves mw but why dont i have that love feeling for him… I Start to blame me for feeling ths way nd breaking his heart….

In last 8 years he never opened himself infront of me nd in 2 days he is very open, interested to know my opinion, interested to know my friends now.. He dint even know my friends or best friend name… Yesterday he came to know… …if it was so easy for him why he never put any efforts for us…or may b he never realised thats important too??

He sent me poetry today  because he thinks i am angry at him so it was a sad poetry.. I dont remember in whole relationship he ever sent me anything to make me feel loved.. Like a romantic poetry abt missing me or singing a song for me ( even though i asked him almost 100 times to sing for me.. May b its silly to ask for this)

I m just thinking all day long about ths situation.. And  trying to end ths.

I m just writing ths all so that i feel a bit better to share… Tht how thinking abt ths all day long is just making me feel depressed nd slow..