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Puppo

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 16 total)
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  • #356308
    Puppo
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    Very glad to read this “I do walk every day and my physical and mental health seems fine to me.”

    I hope things get normal in few months and finally we will be able to meet our loved ones nd friends in personal like before…

    Yes i ll post here any time… Till then you will be in my prayers… Thank you for your time and efforts for reading my and our issues… A big Thanks from my side…. ❤️

    Take care of yourself…i ll be posting here in future for sure…

     

    Puppo

     

    #356194
    Puppo
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    What a coincidence. I just opened Tiny Buddha page just to ask you how you doing and about your health… And wanted to thank you for everything…..

    But i saw a message from your side.. I am so glad which is 4 days before ( sorry i dint get any email notifications so dint check ths page) . ?..

    So yah… I m doing great… And fine…. I found a new passion or hobby whatever i call it… I started learning coding.i started with html and planning to go ahead..i am very motivated .. As i m going to change my field to medical IT so its a good idea to learn coding..its something productive I no more feel emptiness or missing a ex (lol)..  My past guilts are gone i m looking ahead for better future… And i dont feel like being alone as i m  5-6 hours infront of youtube(learning +entertaining) . I don’t mind if my friends are too busy in their lives…

    Tell me about you? How u doing in this time?? Are you still going for walk every day?how is ur physical and mental health…

    Puppo

     

    .

     

    #354502
    Puppo
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

     

     

     

    As u asked,

     

    was wondering, did you relate to Kaira in the movie as far as having issues with her parents, particularly being abandoned by your parents in some form?

     

     

     

    Actually no. I dint relate to her.. But i felt how she must be feeling… Even though i had not a happy childhood, i felt unloved, wished to be dead because no one shows me affection, appreciation, care, love apart from my mom… I was very sensitive… I used to cry alone nd used to pray to God for death in childhood… I was scared from my male cousins, because they never respected me or loved me as a child as we were very poor..

     

    At age of 11 i was forced to stay home by my cousin because he thought i m now grown up nd shouldn’t go outside… All i have is those harsh memories….

    #354486
    Puppo
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

     

    As u asked,

    was wondering, did you relate to Kaira in the movie as far as having issues with her parents, particularly being abandoned by your parents in some form?

     

    Actually no. I dint relate to her.. But i felt how she must be feeling… Even though i had not a happy childhood, i felt unloved, wished to be dead because no one shows me affection, appreciation, care, love apart from my mom… I was very sensitive… I used to cry alone nd used to pray to God for death in childhood… I was scared from my male cousins, because they never respected me or loved me as a child as we were very poor..

    At age of 11 i was forced to stay home by my cousin because he thought i m now grown up nd shouldn’t go outside… All i have is those harsh memories….

    #354484
    Puppo
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    As u wrote,

    “Be selective: if you contacted your most recent ex, that would have been a mistake because he would drag you down, not pick you up!”

    Ya that could be a mistake nd i felt more miserable.. Because i was unintentionally waiting fr him to reach out to me etc after that conversation… Nd i also know that its not a wise decision for both of us… Because of all family drama…

    Un ur another post you asked me about my study major so that u could recommend me something..so i m going to start Medical Informatics.. Its about IT…

     

    #354380
    Puppo
    Participant

    Dear Anita..

    I was talking about my previous relationship kn my last post that my ex approached me after long Time nd i was fully okey about it… But suddenly i brokw down nd started missing him…

     

     

    #354376
    Puppo
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    I m happy for you that u are doing very healthy activities in this locked down…☺️

     

    And may be there is something i want to share with you here… My ex reached to me almost 3 weeks before… We are broken up almost 7 months before…we were in same city and we were so connected and in love with each other.everything was great .. I moved to new city thn because of misunderstanding.i felt he doesn’t trust me . Nd without any break up everything finished… He was mad at me and i was at him…

    In these 7 months i have already moved on nd everything… After his reaching out i was okey too… I dint care i talkd very normally… Replied very respectfully… 3rd day he called again i dint pick up… But just before 5 days i was sitting in balcony i broke down while missing him… i started thinking how mch i loved him nd how mch we enjoyed laughed.. Did everything together.. And why ths happened how could he just leave me when we were doing so great… Etc….nd the only question in my mind was why didnt he trust me???

     

    And just before 2 days before i watched a bollywood movie ” Dear Zindagi” which means (Dear Life) its about a girl who faces problems with are relationships (love, family, work) nd goes to a therapist which explains her about how to find solutions of her problems…

    So in one scene that therapist says to her ” why suffer alone, let the other person know about it”

    I understood it in that way that why am i carrying that burden of those questions on my shoulders i should better ask him….

    So yesterday night again i broke down while missing him… Nd asking my self the same question how could he not trust me…because i invested alot in him… So it was 1 am at night… Nd i felt like i want to know the only answer… Nd i calld him nd we talked nd i asked him the question first he said leave ths question thn i said i want to know and he said yes its ur right to know…

    Nd he explained me that he dint have trust issues he was just angry etc….. Nd it was a friendly conversation..

    Now today all day long i was thinking about my yesterday conversation nd unintentionally waiting for his text.. Or what he may b thinking.?..

    How is it possible that i went from move on to thinking about him so much… Nd missing him even though i have moved on frm him…

    What is your thinking about it?

     

     

    #354370
    Puppo
    Participant

    Dear anita,

    Fortunately i m in a country where i can walk outside nd everything is open….but  we are still maintaining distance… Nd unfortunately i m here alone without my family member… And wd friends we are still kind of maintaining social distancing or i m not asking them to meet up neither they…

    I m student nd my university is all about online lectures nd i m nt attending those as i m changing my major from winter semester a part time job which is also some how effected by coronavirus…

    So now i hope u got my point… I m connected wd family nd friends on call but because of low energy i dont feel like talking….

    Yesterday after a long time i met a friend.. We went nd walked (11 km) nd spent good time… Thn i promised to my self to go out every day fr a walk which btw i did today 7.0 km

     

    #354364
    Puppo
    Participant

    Dear Anita…

    I have broken up with him… And i m feeling better… I have no guilt…. But i m feeling sk empty in this locked down… I have nothing to do… Feeling hopeless.. Low energy…

    #353896
    Puppo
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    Just now i m talking to him… He is talking emotional things like “would i care if something happens to him ??

    Thn saying he was thinking to write the first letter of my name on his body by burning it…

    Thn he start saying that he was thinking to cut his hand nerves….

    I asked why r u. Thinking like that thn he replies because to show me that he loves…..

    Isn’t it kind of emotional tricks to stop me from breaking up….

    Nd he continuously talking about such things tht if smthing happen to him, would i love him more or will i walk away???

    How to react now… Nd what if he really does such stupid thing…

    He is mature enough to not talk like  Ths  he is 9 yrs older thn me nd i m 24….

    Any suggestions how to face ths situation ir llf he strt emotionally blackmailing me to kill or hurt himself??

     

    #353882
    Puppo
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    As you asked me,

    why is it that you feel that you owe him anything, what did he give you that you feel indebted for?

     

    So  i dont know what to reply you… Some how i feel i owe him because i committed to stay in a relationship… And he has a different mentality… What i came to know about him in past 3 days is, he thinks it doesn’t matter what happens a person should never leave another person…

    Nd i said everyone has their needs… Nd whn these needs doesn’t get fulfilled we start to gradually feel differently.. May be out of love smtimes…. Nd thn he adds, no thats not true as he never the person it doesn’t matter what happens…. Thn i told him “we both see the world differently” …

    Nd let me cme to ur question. So no he did nothing that i owe him anything… He gave me time nd that was mutual….

    Nd i dont remember anything…

    The only thing i liked about him that i thought he straight forward, honest nd not flirt and a good men….. I was never physically attracted to him and we are not emotionally connected either…..

     

     

     

    #353832
    Puppo
    Participant

    But the second time i feel really sorry for him nd somewhat guilty because as our communications started to fade.. It was almost 3 weeks we were nt talking or talking very little… Thn he got a bike accident.   He thn Texted me… I wrote him take care of ur self nd we dint talk alot…

    So day before yesterday he was telling mr that whn he got accident he was having his first aid but  he was asking his friends for balance.  Because he wanted to inform me… Nd thn he added he tried to call me but i dint talk. I dont remember that he calld me i just remember his text which i replied… Nd our contact jst faded…  I dint text him nd He never tried to call me n last 2 yrs fr any explanation or break up nor i did… But i felt guilty tht he had accident nd i wasnt there fr him as i should have been… Bcz in his eyes we were in relationship… Nd fr me tht was ended.

    #353830
    Puppo
    Participant

    Halll Anita,

    I cant thank you enough for your precious time..

    Dear As u asked me,

    But why is he authority over innocence and guilt, what made him your moral superior, deciding on your innocence vs guilt?

    If i understood it right than u meant what gave him authority to decide if i m guilty or innocence…

    I would say here that he told me he loved me alot, cared for me, deciding a life for me, wanted to spend his happiness with me but i broke up out of no where… But let me tell u hr never cared if he talked to me or nt, never shared anything…

    When i say him he never showed me love et.. Thnn he replies that why cant i see his actions, i met him 7-8 times i dont remember any thing nd in communication all we did was fight.   But i was guilty of not realising his real love… Wht he tells me which i never saw from his side…

    #353816
    Puppo
    Participant

    Dear Anita…

    Thank you for your last post it just gave me some relaxation by knowing i m not a villain lr a bad person by breaking up with him nd falling out of love because of lack of emotional connection nd communication..

     

    But somehow his efforts nowadays are making me feel bad.. As i told him honestly everything that how i feel in ths relationship he is scared now. He is trying to call me nd text me multiple times.. Trying to ask me about what i like, my friends now… Etc…

    I know this person frm last 8 years nd after 3 months of relationship now he is trying to communicate to me… Trying to make me laugh or telling me his sad story that he laughs all the time but its only showing off… He is not happy inside…

    But the strange thing is he was showing the same “showing off”  i mean laughing nd joking all the time infront of me too…. I never saw  real  him… Nd he never realised ths either.. I dont knw wether these are truth or lie or exaggerated or he is only making me to feel sympathy for him nd stay…

    Talking to him nd watching him to making effort now makes me sad too.. Because i start yo feel he loves mw but why dont i have that love feeling for him… I Start to blame me for feeling ths way nd breaking his heart….

    In last 8 years he never opened himself infront of me nd in 2 days he is very open, interested to know my opinion, interested to know my friends now.. He dint even know my friends or best friend name… Yesterday he came to know… …if it was so easy for him why he never put any efforts for us…or may b he never realised thats important too??

    He sent me poetry today  because he thinks i am angry at him so it was a sad poetry.. I dont remember in whole relationship he ever sent me anything to make me feel loved.. Like a romantic poetry abt missing me or singing a song for me ( even though i asked him almost 100 times to sing for me.. May b its silly to ask for this)

    I m just thinking all day long about ths situation.. And  trying to end ths.

    I m just writing ths all so that i feel a bit better to share… Tht how thinking abt ths all day long is just making me feel depressed nd slow..

    #353604
    Puppo
    Participant

    Dear Anita,

    Thank you for your time…
    <p style=”text-align: left;”>As you said  “there is not much of a relationship here” thats exactly what i was feeling and used to feel..</p>
    Just from last two days he opened himself about our past breakups… That how that breakup devastated him… He said i destroyd his life… He used to ride bike in full speed so that he gets accidents nd die but it wasn’t happening… I was reading his texts i was feeling full of guilts on the other hand i have no feelings left third time too… I dont know how to face it… I feel like i m very cruel person to do this to him… Because he says he only loved me in his whole life, and  i feel bad for him because he isnt flirt nd honest person…

    Ithn i told him that i dont feel as if we are in a relationship.. Because we don’t communicate nd behave like partners we are more like just friends… Then he felt that again a break up is coming nd thn he said he ll open himself to me..etc…nd from yesterday he is talking to me nd sharing talking about our future but i m  not interested i dont Talk to him alot…

    But Anita i dont really care now… If he wanna open himself infront of me or share nd talk about us… I dont have that feelings… They are dead… But i m also devastate nd stressed about breaking his heart  as he thinks i already did very bad to him

    Ji feel guilty now…for hurting him nd hurting him twice…. Now i m hurting tooo…

    How can i break up if he really wanna change now but its too late as my feelings are dead.

    Puppo

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 16 total)