Didn’t reflect under topics is so appropiate for me. The forces that be.

I have mistreated others which is what hurts me the most. I can’t see myself as anything but a victum. I was a good child and so many things worked against me becoming a good adult. The same people who abandoned me and tore away at my self esteem, rolled their eyes at me, betrayed me….all stand up and do not believe they should be held accountable for anything.

I can not get over the person I became when it could have been different and I cry and cry and can not control or change my past.

I can’t show suffering. I needed help a long time ago and they let me sink.

I wasn’t strong enough to be good to the very few who loved me. They often annoyed the majority that hated me.

You tolerate me Anita because you do not kniw me. You do not have to work with me or be in the same room with me.

Everything moves too fast for me. When I’m upset, no one comes to me. When I’m calm no one comes to me, when appear happy no one comes to me. No one told me that I was not going to be loved by most.