So the meet up has come and gone.
I don’t think I was truly open to hearing the things you had said, Anita.

so many of them have hit home for me now.

the meet up was as amicable as it could be considering the events leading up to it. She was very emotionally closed off and we ended up having to meet up again 3 days later as she had forgotten some of my things. Again she was very emotionally closed off.
Any contact we have had in that time and since has been abrupt and like I’m an inconvenience.

after we had said our goodbyes, she contacted me to let me know about a health scare she had.
I reached out to her to offer comfort and support and even in amongst that, she removed all emotion from it.

being talked to like I mean nothing and meant nothing has absolutely broken my heart further.

it’s now been 10 days since I’ve seen her and 6 days since we’ve had any kind of contact.

ive also now removed her from all of my social media accounts.

she did tell me that what she wants now is to have “adventure and fun” so in other words, to go out and have “emotionless sex”.

so again, you were absolutely right.
I’m trying to make peace with all of this and come to terms with it but am finding it very difficult.

The thing I can’t grasp is how she has seemingly flicked a switch and in the time since the break up has talked to me in a way she never had before. It’s so blunt and emotionless and has made me feel like crap.

Im not sure if it’s a coping mechanism on her part as I know she is a person who carries a lot of guilt for hurting others. Out of sight, out of mind maybe?

Anyway I am struggling. I think about her every single day from the moment I wake up. I miss her kids and the bond I had formed with them.

i feel like I have a lost a lot from this relationship, perhaps more than I have in other break ups. I just wanna get her out of my head like she has obviously gotten me out of hers.