Dear Nichole:

You are welcome. I appreciate you Nichole for always having been nice and gracious with me, no matter how badly you felt. And I hope you will feel better in life.

“I’ve managed to lead a clean life regardless of my anxiety and depression. I am still working. I haven’t turned to men”- you are amazing in this regard: no matter how badly you felt, for so long, you are still gracious with me whenever you post and you keep working and you make good choices otherwise.

“I’ve tried 4 medications.. It’s tiring to keep trying when I have had so many bad experiences”- I understand. I suggested psychiatric medications simply because you described severe anxiety for way too long, a severe anxiety that wasn’t helped in any other way.

“I feel like the screaming girl is going to keep screaming until I give her something familiar

Let’s look at the examples you gave regarding your experience in Florida:

1) You arrived to Florida drained and exhausted from your Chicago experience, wanting a room to rent. You found a room to rent in a home that included a single mother, her 16 year old and a grandmother. You explained to them that you need peace and quiet, not to have a personal  relationship within the home. The single mother asked you if you are willing to do housework for a reduced rent and you clearly and firmly said No. Her response to everything before you rented the room: “ok no problems”.

Two weeks in, she asked you for a couple of favors, one of which you declined (to take the grandmother to do her nails), the other you did unwillingly. Next, you woke up to garbage cans placed in front of your car, music playing right next to your bedroom door in the morning. You went out and returned at 11:30 pm to find the door locked with a lock for which she didn’t give you a key. You then asked her to not lock the door in the future or give you a key for the lock, “and she laughed”.

– my thoughts: having had the experience myself of renting rooms in people’s homes, many times, your story reads very believable to me. Whether they had the music loud in the morning outside your bedroom door intentionally so to punish you or because they were very inconsiderate, I don’t know, but none of these two options is acceptable, especially because you told the woman that you need peace and quiet and she agreed to it. Asking you to take her mother to do her nails was unacceptable as well because you told her ahead of time that you are not interested in a personal relationship with anyone in the home. Overall, reads to me that this woman was wrong and you perceived her and the situation correctly.

2) You met a woman in church, told her about the situation above (#1), she offered you a room in her place, and you told her that you “wanted nothing more than a room to rent”. She told you that she has two kids who spend two nights a month in her place because she doesn’t have custody of them. You moved in and her kids are there every weekend and you have to share your bathroom with them. Next, she asked you to pick up one of them from school and take the other to the gym because, she said, you work from home, so you can do those errands. You said No, explaining to her that even though you are working from home, you are still working, and you can’t run those errands for her. Next, she locked you out, her kids put your things in the bathroom you shared with them under the sink and put their things at the top areas.

My thoughts: again, a very believable story. I think that she was wrong and you evaluated her and the situation correctly.

3) Two older women lived in the home, a cabana suite, all went well during the Covid-19 quarantine: you cooked for them and spent time talking to them, socializing some. After the lockdown eased, and you were no longer in the home all the time, they started complaining that they don’t see you anymore, asking where you’ve been, and asking you for favors, like helping them to move their plants around in the yard. You said No and she said you should help because you are using the pool (even though the rent was expensive and was offered to you “with complete pool usage” before you moved in

My thoughts: once again, a very believable story. Reads to me, again, that the women were wrong and you perceived them and the situation correctly.

“Do you think I see abuse everywhere Or that people are indeed being abusive in the situation?”- I think that you saw abuse where it was in these three situations, that you did all the right things and what happened wasn’t your  fault.

I wish you were lucky and did find a home with decent people who would have respected you and the agreement they made with you, so that you could have the peace and quiet that you so need and deserve.

anita